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CAPRICORN
(Dec 22nd - Jan 20th)
 You
sense a new beginning when you greet the arrival of the New Year from
the base of a hedgerow somewhere between the Royal Pheasant and the
Rose and Oak. Not
even the bruises on the lower limbs sustained from passing cyclists
can dampen your enthusiasm for the months to come. The arrival of your
new bus pass opens up new horizons, and for those Capricorns who can
find their way home unaided, the New Year offers opportunity for a host
of new experiences. Sadly not all of these will prove to be beneficial
to your health or standing in Farringdon Society (those Capricorns
who are already of no standing whatsoever may not be affected or if
they are nobody is likely to notice) While relationships continue
to play a major part in your life you should take care to avoid anything
too strenuous this side of the Easter break. You should pay particular
attention to your sweet peas and keep a watchful eye on the PH levels,
Black Spot may cause some irritation later in the year if preventatives
are not employed at an early stage.
AQUARIUS
(Jan 21st - Feb 19th)
 Unlike
last year, you actually managed to avoid provoking any criticism from
your spouse at the New Year celebrations. This may, in part, be due
to the fact that there has been limited communication between you since
your mother-in-law took umbrage after a few home truths were offered
after the Queen's speech but, in general you learned the lessons from
last year by locking the door to prevent any unexpected intrusions.
On this foundation the New year promises much but so did Gordon Brown
therefore you shouldn't allow yourself to become complacent. Remove
any compromising messages from your mobile phone at the earliest opportunity
as your precocious nephew can now read fluently and is far more adept
at technology than you are, remember when the little so and so hacked
into your computer and published artistic images of one of your closest
friends on your Facebook pages last St George's day? The featured Taurean
certainly does, although when the circumstances were explained your
situation was slightly improved. Leaf Mosaic my cause problems in your
potatoes and your compost heap may require more attention than usual,
your floribundas are much admired by a select few and your hollyhocks
may not remain erect without appropriate treatment .
PISCES
(Feb 20th - March 20th)
 Your
attempts to assist the well being of your fellow villagers were commendable
but always remember this activity is best left to the experts, preferably
sober. Traffic cameras should always be approached from the blind side
just in case it is triggered by a passing vehicle as you are climbing
the ladder. It was only luck that your hairpiece had slipped over your
eyes at the crucial moment that saved your recorded image from being
recorded for posterity. The planned Easter Break could make or break
your efforts to join the upper echelon of Farringdon Society, particular
care should be made to avoid a repetition of the appalling social gaffe
at the pre-Christmas drinks party. The offer to make amends may have
saved your bacon in the short term but any repetition would certainly
see you drummed out of the W.I. and possibly blackballed. There is a
slight anomaly in your planetary alignment in late summer which may
introduce unexpected opportunities, by all means make the most of them
but, this time, make sure you don't accidentally record the event on
your mobile phone. Your lawn will blossom this year, but the grass will
recover if you take prompt action. Keeping a watchful eye on your leeks
may prevent contamination of your water butt but this could be a recurring
problem throughout the summer months.
ARIES
(Mar 21st - Apr 20th)
 No
one could have prepared for the chain of events over the festive period
but that doesn't mean that your part in the proceedings went unnoticed,
despite your best efforts to shift the blame onto the occupants of the
pew in front. This year you will have to face up to your responsibilities,
probably towards the end of April although the Piscean connection may
require action earlier in the year. Generally this will be an easier
year than last, providing you manage to maintain a firm stand when circumstances
demand. On no account get involved with local politics and confirm your
bookings for the Village Hall a few days before the event to prevent
double booking. Later in the year there is a slight difficulty, not
unconnected with the events over the festive period but, with luck,
your name will not be linked if you remain aloof. Your houseplants give
you much pleasure and although your energy bills will soar the income
from sales to your neighbours will more than cover the costs. Outside
you should follow your whim and take a chance with something exotic
when the weather is warm enough but make sure you find a quiet and secluded
corner out of sight of the neighbours.
TAURUS
(APR 21st - May 21st)
 The
unexpected publicity after those "artistic" images were published
on St George's day has caused some embarrassment, although the one with
the plastic duck has been commented on favourably by many. Your initial
reaction was somewhat tempered when you discovered that the Aquarian
you blamed was not entirely responsible and your position at the local
playgroup enabled you hand the precocious little culprit over to his
obnoxious Father on the last day before Christmas, happy in the knowledge
that the laxative you concealed in his son's orange juice will keep
the little sod on the move well into Boxing Day. Apart from these slight
difficulties the year begins well, despite the problems with the central
heating, the unseemly brawl between the various factions involved with
the Village Hall enliven your birthday celebrations and your appearance
on a regional television programme brings you a life changing experience.
Your social standing takes a knock after you are spotted in the company
of a Liberal MP but your explanation of the circumstances is accepted
by the W.I. and you're standing is restored. Your runner beans yield
a bumper crop, although affected by the wind and your herbaceous borders
are much admired in certain quarters. Your garden hedge requires attention
to avoid die back and your floral arch needs regular trimming in the
summer months.
GEMINI
(May 22nd - June 22nd)
 Things
got off on the right foot which would have been ideal start to the year
but for the fact that you should have led with the left, the resulting
chaos left several of your fellow dancers in an ungainly heap on the
floor and you with egg on your face, although you can hardly be blamed
for the proximity of the sandwiches. In your defence the instructions
were somewhat ambiguous and it was the first (and possibly the last)
public performance from the newly formed Farringdon Morris Dancers.
With this option no longer open you would be well advised to find another
outlet for your terpsichorean ambitions. Apart from this slight aberration
the year continues without any major upsets although care should be
exercised on the summer holiday when an unexpected event may need careful
handling, preferably by someone else if you are to avoid any repercussions.
As the end of the year approaches you would be well advised to consider
carefully any invitations from an old friend if you are to maintain
your good standing. You should give some attention to your lawnmower
to avoid any mishap and your borders might well benefit from some slight
modifications. While your unique method of seed planting is undoubtedly
effective it should be practised with some discretion as the implement
employed is not one that is generally adopted by your fellow horticulturists.
CANCER
(June
23rd - July 23rd)
An unusually ebullient start to the year may give a felling of false
confidence and you would be well advised not to plunge into any openings
offered around the equinox without careful regard to the consequences.
False economy may well cause some discomfort around Easter but some
subtle adjustments will resolve the situation, although you should make
sure there are no cameras within range to avoid a repetition of the
St George's Day embarrassment last year. Financially your situation
may change, although whether for the better or worse is difficult to
predict due to the presence of Mars in your chart which makes the figures
difficult to read with any degree of accuracy. Your choice of holiday
may influence relationships later in the year if you do not prepare
thoroughly and take account of information from the National Health
Service web site. Your personal relationships seem to be improving although
this is relative and may not necessarily indicate that you are in for
period of bliss unblemished by the usual difficulties. Do not on any
account neglect your lawn edges and remember that your implements should
be well lubricated to keep them in tip top condition. A cold snap may
cause some embarrassment if you fail to take any preventative action.
LEO
(July 24th - Aug 23rd)
Financially this could be an easier year than last but care will still
have to be taken with your investment management if you are to regain
the levels of 2007. A slight question mark hangs over your involvement
with the incident in the Village Hall just before Christmas but if you
remember the story you agreed with the other parties no one will be
able to prove anything as the photos are blurred and inconclusive. Quite
why you were persuaded to become involved is still a mystery and had
you withdrawn earlier the consequences would have been far less embarrassing.
The future year is dominated by a conjugation of your planets which
may result in some perturbations of your aura if you don't take the
obvious precautions. The system should realign in late summer when you
can begin to relax and enjoy what life has to offer although you should
consider carefully any offers from the parties involved in the incident
referred to above. Your tubers might be a little discoloured but in
general your potatoes are much admired. Your tomatoes are disappointing
mainly due to late mildew and a sever case of blight but your top fruit
more than makes up for this slight disappointment. Your fertility would
be enhanced by the application of appropriate nutrients to encourage
a response
VIRGO
(Aug 24th - Sep 23rd)
 No
one has yet realised that you were responsible for the events that followed
the Vicarage Tea Party but you should avoid any complacency if this
situation is to be maintained until the event passes from the collective
memory of those affected, this may not take too long as the majority
of those involved can't even remember what they had for lunch the previous
day due to a combination of alcohol, advancing years and general mental
deficiency. A new opportunity opens up in late Spring but although enjoyable
at the time the resulting irritation may, briefly, cause some embarrassment
both to yourself and other close acquaintances. Financially the year
ahead looks much the same as last year but no doubt your expertise in
this area will prevent any major conflicts in this area. Don't let yourself
be persuaded to join what on the face of it, is a perfectly harmless
village organisation as you could find yourself ostracised as a result
of some eccentric activities of the Chairman, with whom you may find
yourself unwillingly associated. Your climbers are magnificent thanks
to a combination of fertility unusual weather patterns but those Virgos
with Clematis might well be troubled with a fungal infection later in
the year
LIBRA
(Sep 24th - Oct 23rd)
 Your
ambition might lead you into difficulties with but with tact and careful
handling of your neighbours hostility may well be avoided. Otherwise
the year ahead should yield a considerable amount of satisfaction although
not without some sacrifices on your part. Socially there will be difficulties
from the usual antagonists but a snippet of information gleaned from
their personal details gives you enough leverage to respond without
any quantitative easing. A warm spell in early autumn gives you an opportunity
to learn new skills which will prove invaluable in the future. Financially
some careful calculation will be required if you are to maintain a secure
position in the market, the benefits of this action will prove invaluable
when an unexpected drain on your resources gives you cause for concern
until the outlet is cleared. Your efforts to boost the efficacy of your
compost heap have might cause some embarrassment to neighbours and the
fundamentalist sect of the Neighbourhood Watch when the heap is visible
over the hedge. You would be well advised to indulge in these activities
after dark or during periods of severely reduced visibility if a summons
is to be avoided during periods when your compost heap is at peak levels.
Nettles may prove to be a source of irritation in this area.
SCORPIO
(Oct 24th - Nov 22nd)
 Quite
why you did what you did has been a source of much speculation among
your contemporaries but despite your feeble attempt to divert he blame
onto the unexpected side effects of over application of some unguent
for the concealment of greying hair, the one certainty is that you indisputably
did it, in front of a number of reliable witnesses and the pictures
prove it beyond any reasonable doubt. While this is generally a source
of amusement to most, one or two parties are likely to take legal action
unless you can find some way to placate them. This difficulty apart,
the next twelve months may give you an opportunity to exercise your
talents to the benefit of others if you grasp it with both hands. An
old problem might attract attention form an unwanted source but will
only prove to be a minor irritant in the general scheme of things. Financially
you remain buoyant providing you go with the flow, but take care to
protect your assets when the weather turns colder. Your vegetables may
require careful management and avoid the temptation to sacrifice quality
for quantity. Your potatoes are likely to suffer if you neglect basic
husbandry and you should pay careful attention to prevailing conditions
when planting out in the spring.
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov 23rd - DEC 21st)
 Reaching
a new milestone causes you some concern as it indicates that you are
moving in the wrong direction, not a new experience but not one you
were not expecting in this instance. Your unfortunate, albeit involuntary,
involvement in the battle of Massey's Folly when, after
a particularly acrimonious meeting, the
antipathy between the warring factions escalates into a running battle
in Church Road, leaves you with a few scars but the general support
of the populace as you take the opportunity to bang a few heads together.
Contractual obligations may have to take a back seat after the passenger
airbag malfunctions. Travel will play a significant role in the year
to come but you should concentrate on your navigation to reduce your
mileage. Your carbon footprint causes some concern among those close
to you but the stain is eventually removed with professional assistance.
Horticultural problems should be expected but you should not let it
interfere with what little remains of your social life. A heavy storm
threatens your prize blooms but they will recover eventually and, in
common with many, your vegetables may require extra attention in mid
July. A pot plant may exhibit unusual symptoms but moving it beyond
the contamination range of the neighbour's dog will prevent further
deterioration.
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